SHEILA FROST
January 23th, 2017
The interview had ended and I suddenly remembered that it would be an opportune time to take a picture for HOUR (Humans of University of Rochester). I quickly got my camera phone ready, as I rose my hand to aim for my shot Sheila eyed me suspiciously, “You’re gonna take a picture!” I explained that I intended to so that I could have an image for the Facebook post. I proceeded to coax my phone into position in hopes that my gentle presentation of my phone camera would put her more at ease, but alas it did not. Sheila was camera shy, but after listening to her story shyness was an old childhood friend she knew all too well. You wouldn’t know that after first meeting her.
I first met Sheila my freshman year of college. I would often see her early in the morning with her with her cart of cleaning materials. As I went through my morning routine I would hear her humming through her own, and upon passing her in the hallway or the bathroom she would always greet me with a smile. She gently smiled throughout the interview as I coughed out questions. “So,” I sputtered in the beginning, “How long have you been working here?”
“18 years.”
Her two previous jobs before working for the University were making sandwiches and cookies to put in vending machines and the other job was working at a restaurant in a facility that made airplane parts. “So coming here for 18 years has been a pleasure… No complaints.” I believed her response about being content working at the University of Rochester, but I wanted to get some specifics. I prodded her further. She easily replied, “You get meet different people. You get to meet different students. You just get to meet a variety of people.”
Both of us could feel the momentum of the interview starting so slow a bit. She shifted a bit in her seat and requested that I continue to ask her questions. One that immediately popped in my head was what a normal weekday looked like for her. I was not entirely prepared for the answer. “A normal day for me starts at 2:00 o’clock —”
“In the morning?”
“In the morning, yes [there was a long pause] and the work day is at 5:00 [AM].”
I coughed from my cold and because I may have forgotten to take breath for a bit.
“That’s my normal day.”
I unfortunately forgot to ask when her workday ended. I was a bit distracted by her morning routine. “Wait, so your work time doesn’t start until 5:00 AM, why—”
“I’m up at 2:00 to get up and read my bible and I pray.” This helped her get a proper start to her day. I internally marveled at her diligence, but as the interview progressed I had reason to believe that he devotedness was something instilled in her by her parents and her overall upbringing in the city of Rochester.
Shiela, although originally from Georgia, has been a Rochester local since she was six years old. She was oldest of four siblings in a two-parent household in the 19th Ward. “We didn’t have any problems,” she said. For many people summer is often recalled as the most youthful times of the year. For Shiela a summertime in Rochester was full of skating, all variation of ball sports, little bouts of hopscotch, family Pakeno game sessions, trips to local amusement parks, rainwater hair washes, and late night races with the streetlights to make it back to the front porch by the 11:00 PM curfew. She recalled all these things with a smile and mentioned how she and her siblings were never bored and always found something to do even if that meant walking from one side of town to the other. Yet everyone knows that summer does not last forever and a large portion of one’s childhood also resides in school buildings. 37 elementary, West (junior) High, and East High school are the three institutions that delineate the timeline of Shiela’s youth. When Shiela and I arrived at this segment of her life, I sensed some hesitation.
“Did you like school, did you enjoy school?”
“Well, let me see… grade school, um… I don’t really remember grade school too much. I remember I went to school, but I don’t really remember a lot, yeah. High school I remember and junior high I remember a lot and I enjoyed school, I enjoyed school. I wanted to play sports, but I was too shy. I wanted to cheerlead, I wanted to do all that, but I was too shy so I never tried out ‘cus I was shy. I look back and I wish I did.”
I countered, “Well you’re not very shy now!”
“I was so shy! I was extreme shy!”
“Why?”
“I used to be scared to sit next to people,” She chuckled, “That’s how shy I was. It was bad. Oh my god, it was bad!”
Despite her battle with shyness, Shiela felt she had a good upbringing. Her mom would often work three shifts, so every day before his 5:00 o’clock shift Shiela’s father would wake her up for school and take care of her and her siblings when they came home. Shiela expressed that her dad was her best friend and he taught her the importance of respect. She recounted, “My father always taught us to be respectful of all people. He didn’t care what color. He would tell us don’t treat nobody any [different]. He said you will treat people with respect, I don’t care what color they are, I don’t care what background they are from. My father would tell us to treat all people with respect, all people.” She did her best throughout he life to abide by that principle, but respect was not always given to her in return. Sheila explained that her father was not only her best friend, but often was her defender against her bullies. “I was bullied. I was bullied… I can’t even explain to you why. I was bullied all my life. I was bullied in grade school. I was bullied in middle school and I was bullied in high school. But I never treated anybody any kind of way because I was bullied.”
Listening to Sheila recall her experience with bullying revealed a sort quiet and gentle perseverance that has kept her compassionate and understanding of others, especially of
U of R students. Shiela has children of her own, but when she comes to work she tries to treat many of the students as a mother would with respect and conscious of the fact that poor treatment could be damaging when going from day to day. “Say you are doing your job and you’re going along and you are doing your job and you say “hi” to a student and the student don’t say ‘hi.’ You know some people get offended by it, but I don’t because then I go, ‘Well maybe they had a bad night or maybe they’re tired, maybe they’re exhausted.’ You don’t know what they’re night was like. I don’t know what they’re day was like. When I come in the morning I don’t know… I don’t know… Only reason I say these things is because I was bullied, you know and so coming from being bullied all my life — being bullied from grade school all through high school, I look at things different than most people look at stuff. I look at life differently.” Sheila expressed that bullying is something that needs more of a spotlight in general, but for her personally, it has kept her humble and grateful. She deeply appreciates working in an environment where she constantly meets a myriad variety of people, who come from different cultures and walks of life. She specifically mentioned two good friends she made, one from Ethiopia and the other from Vietnam. Through them she go a glimpse of worlds she had never been introduced to. “I just enjoy my life…not too many people can say that… I got see a lot, do a lot… I enjoy my life.”